Oh what I would give to see That Look just one more time! This was the look I would see when he was tired of waiting for me. Most of the time I would see it when he was ready to go home and I was still working. Somehow he managed to look a little bit disgusted, while still being patient with the old man. I could never resist him and we would leave in short order.
In some ways, 4 weeks is a long time and in other ways very short. His presence is still so real, I see him every day in his usual places. Hopefully, that will dissipate with time. His death has shot a hole in my soul the size of a bazooka. Nothing seems to make a lot of difference. I don’t even get mad any more, forget about laughing.
Looking for a new dog to try and fill some of the vacuousness of the house and shop has been total futility. I’m not sure how much it would help anyway.
As I was telling someone this week, the pain is expected and worth the 11 wonderful years he gave me. I’m getting tired of this totally hollow feeling. Time will tell.
That’s enough feeling sorry for myself now……
